A few weeks later my sister Mary was staying with us for the weekend. By then Anne was in Saint Joseph’s Hospice in Bethnal Green. It was a Saturday night and getting on for midnight. I said to Mary and Ron: “I must go to bed I am so tired.” I said goodnight, and went into the hall to go upstairs. As I started to go upstairs, I suddenly had a strong feeling that I should go and see Anne. The feeling was so strong that I went back downstairs and said to Ron: “I will have to go and see Anne.” Ron replied that he would take me in the morning, but I said: “That’s no good, I have to go now.” Mary and Ron looked at me as though I was mad. Ron could see how serious I was, and told me to get ready and we would go.
It was well after midnight when we started out. The motorway was quiet, but on reaching Hyde Park corner it was so busy that it was difficult to get onto the roundabout. When we arrived at the hospice all the gates were locked. We drove around to the back of the building, and there was a man in a small reception room. He came out to the gate and asked us what we wanted, and when we explained that we had come to see our sister, he unlocked the gate and told us to go to the main reception area of the hospice.
On entering the hospice we could see a nun sitting behind a desk. We went over to her and told her why we were there, and apologized for being so late. She replied that they were used to visitors at all hours, and we were asked to wait while she telephoned for someone to show us to Anne’s room. Another nun came and beckoned us to follow her. When we reached Anne’s room she said that Anne was sedated and might not know us. We entered a small room, and Anne was sleeping in a bed with the sides pulled up. Mary and I, followed by Ron, made our way to the bed and leaned over and kissed Anne. She looked so small and ill, and her breathing was very laboured. We sat there for a while holding her hand, and talking to her. But I do not know if she knew we were there. A nun came in and said tea and coffee were available in the visitors’ room, so we decided to go and have a drink.
When we opened the door to the visitors’ room I was surprised to see all my other brothers and sisters there. They said they had been there for some time, and were waiting for Stan to come. The room was full of smoke, where they were all smoking, so we quickly made a drink and went out into the corridor to drink it. We had not been out there long when Stan and his son John came in. They said hello and went to see Anne. They had only been in there a short while, when a nun came in and said that she thought we should all go and say our goodbyes to Anne, as they did not think she would last the night. My whole family crowded into the small room, and all you could hear was Anne trying to breathe, it was an awful sound. Everybody kissed Anne and said goodbye to her, but she was unaware of our presence. Then as we were going out of the room, Anne gave a deep sigh and everything went quiet. My dear sister Anne had died. We called the nun who was sitting outside, and she went over to Anne’s bed, and then asked us to leave the room.
Sadly we made our way back to the visitors’ room. Lil was crying, but I think we all realised that it was the best thing to happen for Anne. At least she had a peaceful death. A nun came in and asked us if there was anything she could do to help. I asked her if I could see Anne before we went. She said that she would arrange that for me.
Then she asked if anyone else wanted anything, and to my amazement I heard Stan ask for a whiskey. I wondered how he had the cheek to ask for a whiskey in a hospice. However, the nun went away and came back holding a small glass with a little whiskey in it. Stan thanked her and drank it in one go. When he gave the glass back to the nun, I thought for a moment he was going to ask for another one, but he must have seen us looking at him and held his tongue.
Ron, Mary and I went to see Anne, and when we entered the room the first thing I noticed was how quiet it seemed without Anne’s awful breathing. She just looked as though she was in a restful sleep, and I was grateful that this would be my last memory of Anne. We kissed her goodbye, and left the small room for the last time. We thanked the nun for all her help and kindness to us, and for their care in looking after Anne. Then we said our goodbyes to our family, and started the long journey home.
I do not know what prompted me to go and see Anne that particular night. Whether she knew we were there or not I have no way of knowing. I am only thankful that she was still alive when we arrived there, and that she died in such a peaceful and loving atmosphere.
